everything changes. Dylan clearly sensed my increasing stress level and decided to lay off the evil plotting for a while. Yesterday and today her Highnyness was the perfect angel. we had a tiny bit of a struggle over our morning bottle, but after that she ate fine all day. in fact this bad (bad as in good) girl drank FOUR yep FOUR entire bottles of formula yesterday. that is more food than she's probably had over the prior 3 to 4 days! miracle? blessing? who knows, i was just profoundly grateful. we even managed to successfully pull off our first outdoor feeding. I was able to take a bunch of short videos of her as she discovered her new dolly. she was laughing and smiling and even picked it up several times to play with it. when i set the computer in front of her to send a skype message to Jeff, she RACED over and starting slapping the keyboard. she was hysterical, lucky Jeff got a couple of videos messages waiting for him when they got up this morning! Having waited as long as i could, sadly it was bath day. And as to be expected though, she hated, really hated her bath. somethings will take a while to get used to.
We decided to go back to Shaiman island today which was really nice since that allowed us to just take the day really slowly. Dylan, like her mama, is not a morning person. and i found it works best when i just leave her in her crib for as long as possible. when i did bring her out i let her just sit on my lap for a good long while. she kept eyeballing her bottle but i kept it on the table nearby. after a few minutes, i brought it close but did not try to feed her. she just looked at it. after many more minutes i picked it up and just held it close. when she was ready she grabbed for it and threw her head back. it's amazing how cooperative she is when she can control when and how she eats. if i don't press things and let her make the first move she just lays back and gulps away. Her second bottle was outdoors and she fussed again, but using my trusty finger to pry open those clamped lips she quickly relented and took another whole bottle. i hope that things continue on this path for as long as possible. i did push the envelope by slowly increasing the amount of formula she's getting. she's almost at 3 scoops per bottle, with the pureed fruit added in. Oh and this morning i saw the Holt representative and asked her where i could buy more baby food. hmmm she pondered (really doesn't EVERY SINGLE parent ask you this?) and she finally told me at a nearby mall. I guess no walmarts in Guangzhou. as i presently loathe the idea of mall shopping I'm hoping to see if i can get by with just finding juice to add to the formula. I'm sure Dylan will take it without anything added but it was a good way to introduce different tastes into this tiny stubborn package. if we feel sporting tomorrow, after our Consulate appt, maybe we'll taxi over to the mall and see what they have. bummer though.
but back on the happy track, little stinkpot decided she was ready to release the poop hounds. she had a full and nasty surprise for me this morning. gag alert! it was truly gross! Jeff you know that once home you'll be taking over diaper duty (hehehe) for a good long while! Once again Miss Thing must have determined that the alternative avenue for poop dissemination was something she was unwilling to go thru again (and did not want to put us through that ordeal, thoughtful as she is) so delivered a fine ripe package all on her own. ahhh the joys of motherhood!
Little Sweetness is chillin out in her crib right now, mouthing all kinds of noises, some which we swear sound like mamamama. could be!!! We're in for the rest of the day and tomorrow we have our Consulate appt. Fortunately for us we have the 9am leave time. the rest of the group either got 7:40AM or on Thursday, so i count ourselves extremely lucky to get the best of all times. We're counting down the days until we leave. Judy and i calculated today that from the time we take off in Hong Kong and land in Orlando it will be 24 hours. and that does not even include the Thursday train ride to HK and the hotel stayover. so we'll be traveling for closer to 36 hours in all. but I'm sure we'll get by. Really can't wait to be home and start out new life together!!!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
dazed and confused
i can honestly tell you i have no idea what day it is. what time it is or what is coming up next. I've slipped into autopilot and am just trying to get thru each day the best i can. We're having a very rough patch with Dylan. she has stopped eating again, which means each feeding is a colossal battle to get her to open her mouth, drink the formula, swallow the formula and stay still long enough to get at least a 1/3 of the bottle in her. it's exhausting for us all. but she's the one who clearly suffers the most. it is heartbreaking right now. While i can assure myself that once home this will all be bad memories, right now it feels like more than i can handle. and then we manage to get thru a feeding and survive the moment. I'm fairly sure the renewed struggle is because we've moved locations, we're on absolutely no schedule. she's eating drips and drabs and well it's tough right now. to top it off, she's showing no gross motor skills and that's concerning.
at least today Dylan had two full bottles and what a giant relief that was. I decided with the incredibly little bit of food she was taking in, I'd up her formula. i had brought it way down after the great constipation episode, but i have to get nutrients into her somehow. so she's on nearly 3 scoops of formula, with pureed fruit (love those squeeze pouches!) and a miralax kicker. no poop since Friday so looks like we'll have to induce poop again. this poor child. I'm forcing activity out of every end, orifice and part of her.
Yesterday (was that Saturday?) we had our medical. it's not like seeing a doctor it's just a cursory exam to ensure the child and documentation match and that the child is not too ill to travel. when we were there the doctor asked me can Dylan, walk, talk, feed herself, stand? no no no no. you can tell she was concerned but said nothing. but we got thru the medical with no red flags thrown so that's good. Later we went out, as a group. for dinner and that was nice to see all the families with their little ones, i had met many of the families in Beijing and here we are again, but with our babies. somehow the medical, the paperwork meeting and dinner took up the entire day. it drags by and yet flies by all at the same time. our constant comment: we can't wait to get home! soon, we all assure each other.
We went to the Jade and Pearl market today and i bought both my daughters pretty little bracelets. if you're into fine jewelry (which I'm not) this is definitely a place you'll want to go to. but the place i truly wanted to see was, Shamian Island, and it really was just a nice as everyone told me. it's a beautiful park like area with the now closed for remodeling White Swan hotel and all these shops. we had lunch (western food!) outside, walked along the river and then hit the stores. lots of goodies for my kids. But the best part is that we survived our first outdoors feeding and even though Dylan cried and screamed and I'm sure we had all eyes on us, we double teamed her and had her drinking her bottle. in fact this was her second FULL bottle of the day! so we were feeling pretty good. we may have stayed a little too long as she was getting really antsy towards the end so we cabbed it back and here we are back in our nice hotel room. As i sit here on my bed, in the dark, with Dylan resisting her nap on one side, and Judy glued to her kindle on the other, I'm so grateful to have gotten thru another day. as a treat we're ordering in Papa Johns pizza tonight! Little does Dylan know there's a bath in store for her tonight and then a good nights rest for us all. we decided to skip the big tours tomorrow (too much stress on Na Na) and just hang out here and take it easy. hopefully we'll manage a cab ride back to Shamian Island, but if not, so be it.
for now, I'm truly exhausted, but i keep telling myself once we get home ONCE WE GET HOME, it will be easier. we'll figure out how best to feed Dylan, we'll get her on a routine and we'll all settle in. I'll get to see the new crib that Jeff and the kids are out shopping for! i can't wait. and for at least these few minutes, I'm feeling content and that's what gets us through the day and fortifies us for tomorrow.
at least today Dylan had two full bottles and what a giant relief that was. I decided with the incredibly little bit of food she was taking in, I'd up her formula. i had brought it way down after the great constipation episode, but i have to get nutrients into her somehow. so she's on nearly 3 scoops of formula, with pureed fruit (love those squeeze pouches!) and a miralax kicker. no poop since Friday so looks like we'll have to induce poop again. this poor child. I'm forcing activity out of every end, orifice and part of her.
Yesterday (was that Saturday?) we had our medical. it's not like seeing a doctor it's just a cursory exam to ensure the child and documentation match and that the child is not too ill to travel. when we were there the doctor asked me can Dylan, walk, talk, feed herself, stand? no no no no. you can tell she was concerned but said nothing. but we got thru the medical with no red flags thrown so that's good. Later we went out, as a group. for dinner and that was nice to see all the families with their little ones, i had met many of the families in Beijing and here we are again, but with our babies. somehow the medical, the paperwork meeting and dinner took up the entire day. it drags by and yet flies by all at the same time. our constant comment: we can't wait to get home! soon, we all assure each other.
We went to the Jade and Pearl market today and i bought both my daughters pretty little bracelets. if you're into fine jewelry (which I'm not) this is definitely a place you'll want to go to. but the place i truly wanted to see was, Shamian Island, and it really was just a nice as everyone told me. it's a beautiful park like area with the now closed for remodeling White Swan hotel and all these shops. we had lunch (western food!) outside, walked along the river and then hit the stores. lots of goodies for my kids. But the best part is that we survived our first outdoors feeding and even though Dylan cried and screamed and I'm sure we had all eyes on us, we double teamed her and had her drinking her bottle. in fact this was her second FULL bottle of the day! so we were feeling pretty good. we may have stayed a little too long as she was getting really antsy towards the end so we cabbed it back and here we are back in our nice hotel room. As i sit here on my bed, in the dark, with Dylan resisting her nap on one side, and Judy glued to her kindle on the other, I'm so grateful to have gotten thru another day. as a treat we're ordering in Papa Johns pizza tonight! Little does Dylan know there's a bath in store for her tonight and then a good nights rest for us all. we decided to skip the big tours tomorrow (too much stress on Na Na) and just hang out here and take it easy. hopefully we'll manage a cab ride back to Shamian Island, but if not, so be it.
for now, I'm truly exhausted, but i keep telling myself once we get home ONCE WE GET HOME, it will be easier. we'll figure out how best to feed Dylan, we'll get her on a routine and we'll all settle in. I'll get to see the new crib that Jeff and the kids are out shopping for! i can't wait. and for at least these few minutes, I'm feeling content and that's what gets us through the day and fortifies us for tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Giant Strides
DDylan surprises us more and more each day. When we first met her on Monday she was very listless, didn't move much, didn't respond much. So of course i was secretly worried and feared all unimaginable things. But we noticed by the second day, and a few good bottles of formula, she started to perk up. she'd move about the bed and look around seemingly curious. She did much better taking a bottle, with significantly less stress each time. Then today when we woke up it's as if she turned a corner, as soon as she was up i made her a bottle and she happily sat there and gulped it down. This from the child that had to be forced fed two days ago and i had to pry her tiny mouth open to get the nipple in. I guess she figured out what's what and took it with no problems. of course we both were so excited with her!
The day progressed well. we took her out to the Ethnic Minority Museum today. it was a good short outing and it gave her a chance to get outside the hotel for a bit. it was pretty cool there and of course i bought some very overpriced items. Dylan has a tendency to arch her back as much as she can when i have her in the carrier. she seems fascinated with the lights above and no matter how many times i try to straighten her out, she just pushes her way back. so i did the best i could maintaining my balance with me trying to keep straight and her arching way way back. she's a tiger that one!
she has made no poopies yet. so i gave her some prune juice earlier. i thought it would work out perfectly a big old poopy followed by her bath. but she had other plans for today. I was greeting very worried when she didn't tinkle either. her last diaper check was just before bath time and she finally peed. i had given her some more prune juice in the afternoon ( just a bit in her formula) thinking it would help her. I'm fairly certain the new recipe of high formula to little or no rice powder is messing with her system. they were giving her 2 scoops of formula to 9 scoops of rice powder. yes they were doing whatever they could to spread their resources but that is just too little food for her. We're pretty positive that's why she's starting to act more and more alert each day. And she's getting used to us too!
She doesn't speak but has a good set of pipes as she's let us know when she's not happy. a super baby human strength to push or kick and she can really clamp down on her lips and teeth when she doesn't want her bottle. because of her cleft palate she can suckle but she does her best to hold the bottle's nipple in her both and with an even pressure we can squeeze the formula into her mouth and she guzzles it down. I'm really hoping when i see the specialists then can teach me the best way of feeding her. We've had a few mishaps with the formula not flowing enough to satisfy her or too much where she got a good squirt full up her nose or in her eye. all this and yet she continues to put up with us! I can't wait to introduce her to semi solid foods. i bought some of those food packs and put a bit on her lips, she smacked them around a little but not enough interest to try more. i offered her some ice cream later and she seemed to enjoy it but again, not enough to try more. she's pretty set in her ways!
Dylan has a way of playing with her fingers all the time. they seem to fascinate her. we think they were her only play things so she's learned to soothe and entertain herself with them. today, after stripping her down to just the fewest layers possible, she pushed her sleeve up and seemed to be shocked she had an arm attached to her hand. she was cooing after it and pulled it towards her head. when we were sure she'd start crying she surprised us again, but laughing. (her first laugh1) so she's starting to amuse herself and explore her surroundings. she's becoming more mobile and starting to sit up more and is excellent at rolling all over the bed and staring at us as we walk past her. it seems the more food and mental stimulation she gets the greater the leaps in her development. So really, she's just doing amazingly!
Gave her her first bath today and finally got a chance to do a full body inspection. she has ridiculously tiny hips. a sizable mongolian spot right on her butt crack! and the very beginnings of a full belly. she's been nothing more than some flesh over bones and you can jsut barely see her belly rounding out. i can't wait to compare her in a month when she's had a good steady diet. Even at two, she'll still need to be on high quality formula for a while. she really needs those calories!
well my two room mates are fast asleep and we have a big day planned tomorrow. going to drive out of the city to the Asian Village where all the local Minority Groups gather, worship, eat and live. should be a really great day! Then on Friday we get Dylan's passport and off we fly to Guangzhou. the last city in China before we make our way home. I have big concerns on how we're going to manage the flight. she's way too tiny to put in the seat and have the buckle stay around her. Shannon lent me an infant restraint, which is great, but i really wish i had a full 5 point harness to hold her in. will have to figure this out before Friday!
The day progressed well. we took her out to the Ethnic Minority Museum today. it was a good short outing and it gave her a chance to get outside the hotel for a bit. it was pretty cool there and of course i bought some very overpriced items. Dylan has a tendency to arch her back as much as she can when i have her in the carrier. she seems fascinated with the lights above and no matter how many times i try to straighten her out, she just pushes her way back. so i did the best i could maintaining my balance with me trying to keep straight and her arching way way back. she's a tiger that one!
she has made no poopies yet. so i gave her some prune juice earlier. i thought it would work out perfectly a big old poopy followed by her bath. but she had other plans for today. I was greeting very worried when she didn't tinkle either. her last diaper check was just before bath time and she finally peed. i had given her some more prune juice in the afternoon ( just a bit in her formula) thinking it would help her. I'm fairly certain the new recipe of high formula to little or no rice powder is messing with her system. they were giving her 2 scoops of formula to 9 scoops of rice powder. yes they were doing whatever they could to spread their resources but that is just too little food for her. We're pretty positive that's why she's starting to act more and more alert each day. And she's getting used to us too!
She doesn't speak but has a good set of pipes as she's let us know when she's not happy. a super baby human strength to push or kick and she can really clamp down on her lips and teeth when she doesn't want her bottle. because of her cleft palate she can suckle but she does her best to hold the bottle's nipple in her both and with an even pressure we can squeeze the formula into her mouth and she guzzles it down. I'm really hoping when i see the specialists then can teach me the best way of feeding her. We've had a few mishaps with the formula not flowing enough to satisfy her or too much where she got a good squirt full up her nose or in her eye. all this and yet she continues to put up with us! I can't wait to introduce her to semi solid foods. i bought some of those food packs and put a bit on her lips, she smacked them around a little but not enough interest to try more. i offered her some ice cream later and she seemed to enjoy it but again, not enough to try more. she's pretty set in her ways!
Dylan has a way of playing with her fingers all the time. they seem to fascinate her. we think they were her only play things so she's learned to soothe and entertain herself with them. today, after stripping her down to just the fewest layers possible, she pushed her sleeve up and seemed to be shocked she had an arm attached to her hand. she was cooing after it and pulled it towards her head. when we were sure she'd start crying she surprised us again, but laughing. (her first laugh1) so she's starting to amuse herself and explore her surroundings. she's becoming more mobile and starting to sit up more and is excellent at rolling all over the bed and staring at us as we walk past her. it seems the more food and mental stimulation she gets the greater the leaps in her development. So really, she's just doing amazingly!
Gave her her first bath today and finally got a chance to do a full body inspection. she has ridiculously tiny hips. a sizable mongolian spot right on her butt crack! and the very beginnings of a full belly. she's been nothing more than some flesh over bones and you can jsut barely see her belly rounding out. i can't wait to compare her in a month when she's had a good steady diet. Even at two, she'll still need to be on high quality formula for a while. she really needs those calories!
well my two room mates are fast asleep and we have a big day planned tomorrow. going to drive out of the city to the Asian Village where all the local Minority Groups gather, worship, eat and live. should be a really great day! Then on Friday we get Dylan's passport and off we fly to Guangzhou. the last city in China before we make our way home. I have big concerns on how we're going to manage the flight. she's way too tiny to put in the seat and have the buckle stay around her. Shannon lent me an infant restraint, which is great, but i really wish i had a full 5 point harness to hold her in. will have to figure this out before Friday!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Our first full day together
okay so I'm a good day behind on by blogging, but as you can imagine, finding the time (and the energy) is not easy!
Today is Wednesday, which means Na Na has been with me for 3 whole days! It's certainly been a lot of ups and downs so far, but she's doing her level best to train me on how she likes to be taken care of!
the first night with her, Judy and I struggled to feed her. No luck. She'd firmly push the bottle away, clamp her mouth shut and resisted like a champion. So we gave up and i figured it will be okay to miss a meal (well two meals as the nanny said she hadn't been able to give her a bottle earlier either) the next morning we had to be down stairs at 9:30 so i got up early in preparation of the long morning ahead. We tried again to feed her and she flat out refused. So when we went back to the civil affairs office, we asked the nanny and orphanage director what we were doing wrong? could they show us how to feed her? As it turns out we weren't doing anything wrong she just refused to eat. they had to resort to a force feed. (and yes that's as awful as it sounds) i sat down and held her in my arms and tried to hold her arms still. the nanny was on one side firmly holding Dylan's head and the other nanny on the other side and held her legs all while the director spoon fed her the formula. and by spoon fed i mean she'd have to squeeze Dylan's cheeks until she open her mouth, then she shoved in the food, half of which she spit right out. we did this for at least 45 minutes and got almost a bottles worth into her. it was awful! but she had warm food in her belly. Dylan's is amazingly resilient and no matter how much she cries, screams or fusses, she quickly calms down again. so once the drama (and trauma) were over she was quiet and sweet again.
When we had first walked into the office and Na Na saw the ladies she extended one arm out to them. The very clever director held back and ordered the nanny to move away. I was so worried that once she saw her old family she'd cry to have them back again, but nope she just clung to me and was totally fine. All the paperwork had been handled the day before so this day was the official registering of the adoption. They presented us with all her approved adoption paperwork, and then it was picture time. We stood up all together as they handed me all these signed, sealed, delivered forms. then they presented Dylan with the most amazing Ethnic Doll, they believe she's of mixed race (their words) and said part tribe and part Westerner. Of the tribe, Miao are the largest group in this region so they think she's Miao. Vicky was telling me by the structure of her eyes and forehead that she appears Westerner. I can't imagine that's the case as we have not seen one other Caucasian here (well other than one shop owner) Not that it matters at all, but the doll was stunningly dressed in traditional garb. then they gave her a pendant (which i really have to look at as I'm not sure it's for a necklace or not) I looked at Vicky in surprise and she said: I told you they'd give her nice gifts. really really nice gifts. i felt so crummy for having only given them chocolates and chewing gum! not at all a fair trade. But once again everyone there was lovely and gracious. Again they told me they knew Na Na was in good hands. and then they were gone.
When we got back to our room we happily settled in for a day of quiet and calm. I really wanted Na Na to have a quiet day to take in the craziness around her. We attempted bottle feeding, and this time i figured out if i put my finger in her mouth i could keep it open while Judy put the bottle in. Thankfully i had a collection of bottles and found the Playtex Nurser with the disposable liners worked perfectly. I would hold Na Na, with my finger tip keeping her mouth open and Judy would stand above us squeezing the formula into her mouth. Well at least we went from 4 to 2 people feeding her. It just got easier and easier from there. she happily took a nap (no pooppies yet) and was quite content to later just lay on be bed and look around. She's not at all like a typical toddler, all hands and mouth, exploring everything. she just lays there and looks around. she likes to roll over quite a bit and will push herself up on one hard. but once i put a Chinese language kids' channel on, she laid there and just chilled. Each feeding got easier and easier and finally after skypeing with Ba Ba we all collapsed for a good nights rest!
Today is Wednesday, which means Na Na has been with me for 3 whole days! It's certainly been a lot of ups and downs so far, but she's doing her level best to train me on how she likes to be taken care of!
the first night with her, Judy and I struggled to feed her. No luck. She'd firmly push the bottle away, clamp her mouth shut and resisted like a champion. So we gave up and i figured it will be okay to miss a meal (well two meals as the nanny said she hadn't been able to give her a bottle earlier either) the next morning we had to be down stairs at 9:30 so i got up early in preparation of the long morning ahead. We tried again to feed her and she flat out refused. So when we went back to the civil affairs office, we asked the nanny and orphanage director what we were doing wrong? could they show us how to feed her? As it turns out we weren't doing anything wrong she just refused to eat. they had to resort to a force feed. (and yes that's as awful as it sounds) i sat down and held her in my arms and tried to hold her arms still. the nanny was on one side firmly holding Dylan's head and the other nanny on the other side and held her legs all while the director spoon fed her the formula. and by spoon fed i mean she'd have to squeeze Dylan's cheeks until she open her mouth, then she shoved in the food, half of which she spit right out. we did this for at least 45 minutes and got almost a bottles worth into her. it was awful! but she had warm food in her belly. Dylan's is amazingly resilient and no matter how much she cries, screams or fusses, she quickly calms down again. so once the drama (and trauma) were over she was quiet and sweet again.
When we had first walked into the office and Na Na saw the ladies she extended one arm out to them. The very clever director held back and ordered the nanny to move away. I was so worried that once she saw her old family she'd cry to have them back again, but nope she just clung to me and was totally fine. All the paperwork had been handled the day before so this day was the official registering of the adoption. They presented us with all her approved adoption paperwork, and then it was picture time. We stood up all together as they handed me all these signed, sealed, delivered forms. then they presented Dylan with the most amazing Ethnic Doll, they believe she's of mixed race (their words) and said part tribe and part Westerner. Of the tribe, Miao are the largest group in this region so they think she's Miao. Vicky was telling me by the structure of her eyes and forehead that she appears Westerner. I can't imagine that's the case as we have not seen one other Caucasian here (well other than one shop owner) Not that it matters at all, but the doll was stunningly dressed in traditional garb. then they gave her a pendant (which i really have to look at as I'm not sure it's for a necklace or not) I looked at Vicky in surprise and she said: I told you they'd give her nice gifts. really really nice gifts. i felt so crummy for having only given them chocolates and chewing gum! not at all a fair trade. But once again everyone there was lovely and gracious. Again they told me they knew Na Na was in good hands. and then they were gone.
When we got back to our room we happily settled in for a day of quiet and calm. I really wanted Na Na to have a quiet day to take in the craziness around her. We attempted bottle feeding, and this time i figured out if i put my finger in her mouth i could keep it open while Judy put the bottle in. Thankfully i had a collection of bottles and found the Playtex Nurser with the disposable liners worked perfectly. I would hold Na Na, with my finger tip keeping her mouth open and Judy would stand above us squeezing the formula into her mouth. Well at least we went from 4 to 2 people feeding her. It just got easier and easier from there. she happily took a nap (no pooppies yet) and was quite content to later just lay on be bed and look around. She's not at all like a typical toddler, all hands and mouth, exploring everything. she just lays there and looks around. she likes to roll over quite a bit and will push herself up on one hard. but once i put a Chinese language kids' channel on, she laid there and just chilled. Each feeding got easier and easier and finally after skypeing with Ba Ba we all collapsed for a good nights rest!
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| I may not look happy but i'm feeling pretty chilled laying here on this nice big bed! |
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| always with the fingers! |
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| Look! I can stand!!! |
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| Add caption |
Monday, January 6, 2014
Our first day together: Mama and Na Na
words cannot describe.... but I'm certainly going to try!
after waiting what seemed an excruciating long time, it was finally time to leave for the Civil Affairs Office. I kept asking my guide Vicky if they'd gotten there and she kept saying she didn't know/would call, did call. who knows, i really wasn't hearing much. When we got the to office Vicky lead us into a building under construction. what in the world was she thinking! there was a man working there, scaffolding set up, new flooring stacked up along the walls, the ground itself was just dirt, mud and who knows what else. She explained that the building was actually a hotel and they were redoing the lobby. Now as every American can imagine OSHA would have shut that site down immediately for allowing people to walk thru it and to take the elevator all the way upstairs! but that's how it's done here. She also told us that the adoption unit used to be part of the Civil Affairs Main Office but the employees were not happy with all the baby crying, mama crying and goings on, so they moved this dept to the top floor of the hotel.
We made our way upstairs and Vicky instantly tells me, Oh they're here. we stop on the landing (Judy peaked in and said "she's adorable!") we waited a moment until we got the camera out, i dumped all my bags on the bench and in we went. she was covered head to toe in a red jacket and thick red pants. i could barely see her, but there in the midst of all that cold weather armor was a tiny head. fair skinned and dark brown hair. she was STUNNING. oh my. as you can imagine i started bawling my heart out. i approached her and she wanted nothing to do with me. the Nannies tried to assure me, she was tired, scared, etc. It's okay i kept saying. when she's ready. i tried sitting down and just looking at her. finally i could survive this no more. i grabbed a toy from the diaper bag and tried to entice her with it. she could care less! I wanted to give her her space but man i wanted too much to hold her! It didn't take that long in the end, but of course it felt like forever. I finally grabbed her up and she clung to me for dear life. for a tiny little squirt she's got some grip on her. i held her and rocked her and cooed. she's so sweet. couldn't get enough of that baby smell. the rest was a blur. papers signed, questions asked, thanks given. All the while i held on to her and she seemed quite content. the Orphanage Director said she could tell i loved her and that Na Na would be in good hands. We talked about her special needs and i told them we had already lined up doctor's appointments and she would be well looked after. When i told them that any medial condition she had, that couldn't be fully healed, would be okay with us -- that we'd love her no matter what. That made them smile. And it's so true. after holding her i knew I'd love her forever!
They told us she had never tasted solid foods since they were afraid of her choking on it. I had the same fears of a bit of food being lodged in her cleft so that was no problem. we'd keep to formula and a bottle til we got home. She was such a good baby, as long as she was being help. They told me she did not like change and boy they meant this. Change included moving her from one arm to another, up or down, this or that. she'd instantly cry but just as quickly settle back in. After a few hours of paperwork, (where they covered her hand in ink and she left her mark (her hand print) on the adoption forms!!!) we took some photos and then that was it.
Once back in the room i was so happy to unwrap her from her many layers. cries, tears, okay better now. we tried in vain to feed her. they had told me she hadn't taken a bottle earlier so this meant she was going quite a long time with no food. she was fine being held but she would mightily push aside anything that came near her (food, toys, anything) even my own dinner! we had ordered in room service and each time i grabbed some food or a drink, for me to eat, she'd push it away. amazing i didn't end up wearing it all. Speaking of which, i used the ergo baby carrier as soon as we got back to the room. she fussed for a moment but then seemed to be fine. that's how we spent the next few hours. her in her baby carrier, me on cloud nine
We got to skype home and Dylan instantly responded to Jeff. we kept saying Baba and she'd look at him and extend her hand towards the screen. Why, she must have wondered, is my Baba not grabbing my hand and picking me up? but she really seemed to like looking at him and the kids. it was great that her new family got to meet her and she got to see and hear them. we'll keep skypeing each day and hopefully she'll feel comfortable with her family when she gets to meet them.
Finally it was close to bedtime and again she refused the bottle. so i laid her in her crib and she did the most cutest sweetest thing ever. she rolled over on her belly, got up on her knees and put her forehead on the mattress. with her little booty sticking up in the air, she'd gently slap the mattress. how cute is that! eventually she settled in with a good juicy thumb to keep her company for the night and off she went to bed. slept thru the whole night, except for one little cry and then quickly off to sleep again. Sweetest Baby ever!
after waiting what seemed an excruciating long time, it was finally time to leave for the Civil Affairs Office. I kept asking my guide Vicky if they'd gotten there and she kept saying she didn't know/would call, did call. who knows, i really wasn't hearing much. When we got the to office Vicky lead us into a building under construction. what in the world was she thinking! there was a man working there, scaffolding set up, new flooring stacked up along the walls, the ground itself was just dirt, mud and who knows what else. She explained that the building was actually a hotel and they were redoing the lobby. Now as every American can imagine OSHA would have shut that site down immediately for allowing people to walk thru it and to take the elevator all the way upstairs! but that's how it's done here. She also told us that the adoption unit used to be part of the Civil Affairs Main Office but the employees were not happy with all the baby crying, mama crying and goings on, so they moved this dept to the top floor of the hotel.
We made our way upstairs and Vicky instantly tells me, Oh they're here. we stop on the landing (Judy peaked in and said "she's adorable!") we waited a moment until we got the camera out, i dumped all my bags on the bench and in we went. she was covered head to toe in a red jacket and thick red pants. i could barely see her, but there in the midst of all that cold weather armor was a tiny head. fair skinned and dark brown hair. she was STUNNING. oh my. as you can imagine i started bawling my heart out. i approached her and she wanted nothing to do with me. the Nannies tried to assure me, she was tired, scared, etc. It's okay i kept saying. when she's ready. i tried sitting down and just looking at her. finally i could survive this no more. i grabbed a toy from the diaper bag and tried to entice her with it. she could care less! I wanted to give her her space but man i wanted too much to hold her! It didn't take that long in the end, but of course it felt like forever. I finally grabbed her up and she clung to me for dear life. for a tiny little squirt she's got some grip on her. i held her and rocked her and cooed. she's so sweet. couldn't get enough of that baby smell. the rest was a blur. papers signed, questions asked, thanks given. All the while i held on to her and she seemed quite content. the Orphanage Director said she could tell i loved her and that Na Na would be in good hands. We talked about her special needs and i told them we had already lined up doctor's appointments and she would be well looked after. When i told them that any medial condition she had, that couldn't be fully healed, would be okay with us -- that we'd love her no matter what. That made them smile. And it's so true. after holding her i knew I'd love her forever!
They told us she had never tasted solid foods since they were afraid of her choking on it. I had the same fears of a bit of food being lodged in her cleft so that was no problem. we'd keep to formula and a bottle til we got home. She was such a good baby, as long as she was being help. They told me she did not like change and boy they meant this. Change included moving her from one arm to another, up or down, this or that. she'd instantly cry but just as quickly settle back in. After a few hours of paperwork, (where they covered her hand in ink and she left her mark (her hand print) on the adoption forms!!!) we took some photos and then that was it.
Once back in the room i was so happy to unwrap her from her many layers. cries, tears, okay better now. we tried in vain to feed her. they had told me she hadn't taken a bottle earlier so this meant she was going quite a long time with no food. she was fine being held but she would mightily push aside anything that came near her (food, toys, anything) even my own dinner! we had ordered in room service and each time i grabbed some food or a drink, for me to eat, she'd push it away. amazing i didn't end up wearing it all. Speaking of which, i used the ergo baby carrier as soon as we got back to the room. she fussed for a moment but then seemed to be fine. that's how we spent the next few hours. her in her baby carrier, me on cloud nine
We got to skype home and Dylan instantly responded to Jeff. we kept saying Baba and she'd look at him and extend her hand towards the screen. Why, she must have wondered, is my Baba not grabbing my hand and picking me up? but she really seemed to like looking at him and the kids. it was great that her new family got to meet her and she got to see and hear them. we'll keep skypeing each day and hopefully she'll feel comfortable with her family when she gets to meet them.
Finally it was close to bedtime and again she refused the bottle. so i laid her in her crib and she did the most cutest sweetest thing ever. she rolled over on her belly, got up on her knees and put her forehead on the mattress. with her little booty sticking up in the air, she'd gently slap the mattress. how cute is that! eventually she settled in with a good juicy thumb to keep her company for the night and off she went to bed. slept thru the whole night, except for one little cry and then quickly off to sleep again. Sweetest Baby ever!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Last Day of Waiting
it's 1:49 pm. We're supposed to meet our guide Vicky in the lobby at 3:30. Then finally i get to meet Dylan at 4pm. Last day of waiting is turning into the last few hours, and then the last hour. Been such an emotional wreck today.
I needed to get out for a bit so we took a walk around the hotel and found our way to the river. such a pretty area. walked along the riverside and came across this really interesting and ornate building. heard all the music so we climbed up the stairs. Right there in the middle of a large pavilion were all these people dancing. it was so lovely. of to one corner was an older lady doing her tai chi, vendors carrying their heavy loads on their back. music playing. it was perfect. i tried to go unnoticed and hugged a column while i took a bunch of photos. unfortunately a younger woman got caught in my camera cross hairs and ratted me out. A very nice man came up and I believe, asked me to stop. he wasn't really clear. and he was smiling. but i figured what else could it be. He wasn't point towards the stairs with a stern face demanding OUT. so we just stood there for a while, enjoyed the people and the music. it looks to be some kind of social club. most everyone was a bit older. def no kids running around. so not likely to take Na Na there this week. Will have to ask Vicky about it.
I needed to get out for a bit so we took a walk around the hotel and found our way to the river. such a pretty area. walked along the riverside and came across this really interesting and ornate building. heard all the music so we climbed up the stairs. Right there in the middle of a large pavilion were all these people dancing. it was so lovely. of to one corner was an older lady doing her tai chi, vendors carrying their heavy loads on their back. music playing. it was perfect. i tried to go unnoticed and hugged a column while i took a bunch of photos. unfortunately a younger woman got caught in my camera cross hairs and ratted me out. A very nice man came up and I believe, asked me to stop. he wasn't really clear. and he was smiling. but i figured what else could it be. He wasn't point towards the stairs with a stern face demanding OUT. so we just stood there for a while, enjoyed the people and the music. it looks to be some kind of social club. most everyone was a bit older. def no kids running around. so not likely to take Na Na there this week. Will have to ask Vicky about it.
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| the Pavilion, from across the river |
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| tai chi |
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| dancers everywhere |
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| she was not happy with me |
when we finished our walk around the river we made our way to (yet another) mall and quickly found the Toys R Us. the beautiful Chinese dolls i had seen in Beijing were not here. they had the TRU EXCLUSIVE ones, which were rather dull and boring. I really really wish i had bought them in Beijing when i had the chance, but we didn't have any money on us at the time AND we knew there was just no more room to be had in our luggage. dang! well hoping they are available in Guangzhou.
2pm now. time to get gussied up. the room is all ready for my baby. all sharp items picked up and stored away. no meds in tiny finger reach. her crib is ready and the hotel even brought up a plastic bath tub. too darn cute.
Well my friends, my next post will be giddy and joyful and reveling in the absolute thrill of being a new momma! can't wait. CANNOT WAIT!!!!
oh these rollercoaster rides!
went to bed at 10:30 last night and was up by 4:30. Sleep will not visit me today. My stomach aches. it's cartwheels and flips and back bends have me cramping over in pain. tried to have a slice of bread and cheese last night hoping it would soothe me. it helped a little. of course all this coffee I'm madly consuming is not helping me either.
waiting just a bit longer to go down and have breakfast...well attempt to eat something. hopefully i can take a walk by the river this morning. there's a TRU somewhere nearby. well gotta do what i gots to do! saw some amazing dolls in Beijing (barbie sized) dressed in traditional robes. couldn't buy them there since every square inch of luggage was crammed to the max. Had hoped to buy two for my daughters and hide them for 10 years. Way too nice for them to actually play with!!
found out that Dylan is still only drinking from a bottle. will be very very interesting to watch her as she has her first "bite" of food. i bought a bunch of those baby type crackers and thought i could try giving her some tomorrow. I can't wait to see the look of shock (good shock!!!!) tasting food for the very first time! what must that feel like.
they're supposed to deliver the crib this morning. how sweet. could thing they hadn't brought it up earlier. i would have changed the sheets, rearranged the mattress, moved it's location at least 10 times and god knows what else by now.
so damn tired right now. so wired. Dylan's nap time is at 3pm. the ceremony is at 4pm. she'll have been in a car for the last 3 1/2 - 4 hours. this may not be a pleasant happy time for us all. But she is the princess of the day (well lot longer than that) so we'll just take things at her speed. Judy and i already talked about just having dinner in the room tonight so Dylan can have some settling in time.
Still can't get over all of this. I remember how freaked i was waiting to meet David and Emma. Thinking i had made a terrible mistake, this was all wrong, what was i thinking adopting a child, wait adopting two kids!!!!! and here i go again, worrying the same worries. i had to keep reminding myself how i went thru all of this the last time and the very second i saw Emma (David was being bathed) i KNEW i had made the absolutely right decision. I loved her on the spot. I'll always remember that instant bond, that overwhelming sense of a mother's love. I know that will happen when i meet Dylan (Na Na) but for now, I'm worrying myself sick.
muscles ache. stomach pitching. head hurts. geez you'd think i had been partying all night long.
waiting just a bit longer to go down and have breakfast...well attempt to eat something. hopefully i can take a walk by the river this morning. there's a TRU somewhere nearby. well gotta do what i gots to do! saw some amazing dolls in Beijing (barbie sized) dressed in traditional robes. couldn't buy them there since every square inch of luggage was crammed to the max. Had hoped to buy two for my daughters and hide them for 10 years. Way too nice for them to actually play with!!
found out that Dylan is still only drinking from a bottle. will be very very interesting to watch her as she has her first "bite" of food. i bought a bunch of those baby type crackers and thought i could try giving her some tomorrow. I can't wait to see the look of shock (good shock!!!!) tasting food for the very first time! what must that feel like.
they're supposed to deliver the crib this morning. how sweet. could thing they hadn't brought it up earlier. i would have changed the sheets, rearranged the mattress, moved it's location at least 10 times and god knows what else by now.
so damn tired right now. so wired. Dylan's nap time is at 3pm. the ceremony is at 4pm. she'll have been in a car for the last 3 1/2 - 4 hours. this may not be a pleasant happy time for us all. But she is the princess of the day (well lot longer than that) so we'll just take things at her speed. Judy and i already talked about just having dinner in the room tonight so Dylan can have some settling in time.
Still can't get over all of this. I remember how freaked i was waiting to meet David and Emma. Thinking i had made a terrible mistake, this was all wrong, what was i thinking adopting a child, wait adopting two kids!!!!! and here i go again, worrying the same worries. i had to keep reminding myself how i went thru all of this the last time and the very second i saw Emma (David was being bathed) i KNEW i had made the absolutely right decision. I loved her on the spot. I'll always remember that instant bond, that overwhelming sense of a mother's love. I know that will happen when i meet Dylan (Na Na) but for now, I'm worrying myself sick.
muscles ache. stomach pitching. head hurts. geez you'd think i had been partying all night long.
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