Travel Approval has been Approved.

Who's got TA?  I've got TA.  If you want TA, then go get your own cuz i'm not giving mine up.   TA!!!

Yep, it finally came.  exactly as expected, a week late.  At least all the delays have been consistent.  We got the call from Steve at Holt last night letting.  It was the first time Jeff was around when Steve (the other man in my life) called so we were able to chat together.  Steve was concerned that if i opted for the first travel group, December 13, (which BTW, is the date you have to be in your child's province, not the departure date.  that is about a week earlier) I wouldn't get a Consulate appt.  So I'd be really looking at the 12/20 travel group.  And hard as it was, it just made more sense to wait 2 more weeks to travel for Dylan and not miss the kids' recital.  Christmas i would have missed... but factoring in worries about not getting flights, and the super high season rates.... well it was the right decision.

So I emailed Todd (travel dude) and started getting things a'rocking and a'rolling.  Right now the plan is to fly out on Sunday 1/29 (based on lowest fares -- a joke really... and available seating)  we should be able to fly back on Jan 16, but Todd thinks we'd save money if we flew a few days later.  So who knows, maybe some extra sightseeing days in China or even.... in HONG KONG!  

So, all good in the end.  I'm at peace with delaying my travel (a small lie, but if i repeat it enough it will come true)  She'll be home in January and we can begin the bonding process and the settling in.  yeah!

On to mo' fun news... on a recently, pretty crappy day, Jeff decided (foolish boy) to take me to the RV store to cheer me up.  Oh it worked BIG time!  we're now this close } { to getting a new trailer!  loved the pop up, but man, after a while you really hate all the work involved in setting in up and taking it down.  And of course a new trailer requires a much larger truck to tow it... so guess who's getting a new car!!!!  (Bob Barker would be so proud!)  so we're going car shopping today.  We had planned to do this anyway, my Pilot being too small for a car seat, 3 kids, 2 adults, 3 dogs...  so it was inevitable... just not calculated and budgeted for this year.  Jeff's equally excited about the new trailer and knows i needed a new truck...  He's already put dibs on it for the first tailgating party.  I can't imagine him dragging a giant 32' beast of a trailer to a tailgate party, but hey, if that's what makes him happy.. so be it!

So today, Saturday, is a very good day.  I'm thrilled beyond words knowing Dylan will be home and knowing exactly when I'll start being her mommy.  LOVE LOVE LOVE.... that's what i feel.  

January it is.

After a lot of back and forth, soul searching, over thinking, dilemma deducing,  I finally decided to postpone our adoption until January.   As I STILL haven't gotten my TA, the possibility of getting on the 12/13 group was looking slimmer and slimmer.  The next group would be 12/20.  assuming i had my TA by then, I'd be traveling at the worst time for many reasons:  missing the kids recital, Christmas, traveling at PEAK travel times.  $$$$$$$$$, not to mention possibly getting stuck in country if any govt offices "unexpectedly" closed for a day or two or three.

So i decided to wait the 2 weeks and travel with the Jan 3rd group instead.   Technically, it's just another 2 weeks, but considering i was CONVINCED I'd be in the Dec 6th group, it feels more like a month delay.  But, it is as it is....  Nothing I can do about it.

This gives me a bit of a cush too to plan things.  I was seriously freaking out at the thought of leaving in 2 weeks without a single reservation!  didn't have airline tix, hotels, nada....  at least now, i have a very solid chance of getting my first choice consulate appt in Jan, getting a reasonable chance of a good route to china (forget the money, just as expensive in Jan as Dec... go figure!)  So, i have to believe this is all for the best.  At the very least the enormous pressure i was feeling has evaporated.   I do have the time now to get things coordinated.  so that's good, right???

So until January.  Until i can finally meet my Dylan.  We'll have to celebrate Christmas again just for her.

Trip Postponed. Life Sucks.

I will not be traveling to China with the December 6th group.  No One will be traveling in that group.  US Consulate was booked solid and the 5 families with TA were all denied an appt and postponed a week.  And that's the families that have their TA.  I got bumpkiss.   I got shaft.

They added a 2nd group to December to help the families that were paper ready.  This means there's still a December 13th group and now a December 20th group.  In both scenarios I'd miss:  the kids recital, Christmas..... and I'd be paying top dollar for high season tickets.  Oh and let's talk about the random government office closures would could unexpectedly delay us a week or so -- while in Country.   With a new child.  Who will probably HATE me.  and have horrible constipation.  and we'll get some nasty fever, infection type thing and gross green snot will pour from every orifice.

So we decided the safest bet is to wait and travel with the Jan 3rd group.  SUCKS!!1  fricken SUCKS big time.  No Dylan for Christmas.  No Dylan for us this year.  My heart breaks.  My heart aches.  I hate this part.  I hate it so much.

Shitty damn week.  David floods the toilet and chaos ensues.  He decides to experiment with a Bic Lighter and paper towels,  more chaos... of a different nature.  Parenting Styles  }}}}}} CLASH {{{
SHIT HAPPENS.

not happy.  pretty miserable.  I want this baby girl here with me now.  I hate that I'm secretly relieved i won't have to travel with only 2 days notice.  I hate that I'm happy I'm not missing the recital and Christmas.  rotten mother.  bad bad bad.

misery loves company so I'm sharing my misery.  see, bad person BAD.

Flood part duex

History most definitely repeating itself.

6 years ago, as we waited to bring David and Emma home from Vietnam, we had a pipe leak in the bathroom.  The kids' brand new carpet was soaked.  Luckily we got to the leak quickly enough and the carpet was saved.

Fast forward 6  years, and I'm once again waiting to bring home a child.  This time David managed to clog the toilet in the JUST remodeled bathroom causing 4 rooms to flood.  This was painful on so many levels.  i had been tackling the giant mound of piled up items in the kitchen and dining room. The remodeling project had taken way too long with too many problems.  I was desperate to get all these things finally put away, sorted, organized.  ahhh words i live by.  Now nearly complete and seeing a future clear of chaos, the flood happens.  carpets soaked beyond ruin.  rugs destroyed.  chaos chaos chaos.  words that hurt!

This time we got the insurance company involved, which turned out to be a really good idea.  they are paying for a brand new carpet and will have all the (brand new) baseboards replaced.  So while i stare with hatred and the newly tripled pile of crap stacked up in my kitchen i think... i can not take this!  i had a complete emotional breakdown.  my body ached.  my heart ached.  i really felt like i had hit a wall (i get what that means now!!!)  i collapsed in a puddle of misery, sorrow, anger, depression, exhaustion and self pity.  I did NOT need this!

Luckily Jeff had the great idea to get out of the house and check into a hotel.  The kids had slept on the floor the first night and of course, neither slept (it was like camping to them) and 2 exhausted kids and parents struggled throughout the day.  so when Jeff suggested that we get out of the house and stay in a hotel, i lifted my pitiful, exhausted head just enough to say.  Yes, Please.

What a difference not being home makes!  Freedom!!!  I could relax a bit.  and then, of all the miraculous surprises... late last night, at dinner, Jeff checks his messages and tells me we got an update on Dylan. and there are PICTURES.  i couldn't rip the phone out of his hand fast enough.  not only pictures but our first ever picture of Dylan smiling!  (what a goofy crooked smile you have!!)  ohhhh  i could just feel the 80 pounds of anxiety armor sliding off.  she was smiling AND she was wearing the headband we sent her.  AND she was holding our  (HER) family photo album.  Oh good god, this couldn't have come at a better time.  this couldn't have been wished for and received at a more critical moment!   Suddenly all the ick that had been building up around me seemed so much more manageable.  Just take care of one small thing at a time.  just one small box put away.  one load of dishes.  just one thing at at time.... i could do this!

Never mind that i was stressed beyond all understanding.  Never mind that i was hoping and praying to travel in LESS THAN 3 WEEKS, and still had no Travel Approval, no tickets, no hotel reservations, hadn't packed one single item yet.  I saw my baby girl smile for the first time.  That's all i needed.  I'm going to get through this.  and to be all 80's nostalgic:   I WILL SURVIVE.   Hey don't judge me, i had to go there!  let me have one goofy moment!